Friday, April 13, 2012

Panic Attacks and Insomnia

It is 5 AM. No, I am not normally up this early. Yes, this is ridiculous. No, I am not happy about it.

Since I last checked in with you all a pile of crazy has landed in my lap that has rendered sleeping a virtually useless activity. I *might* be able to get 5-6 hours some nights and other than that I keep waking up thinking someone/something needs me. I'm seldom wrong although this morning nothing has happened yet.

I'm exhausted. My health is starting to suffer for it. I was diagnosed a week ago now with perinatal depression which is essentially post-partum depression that comes before the baby arrives and then lasts the "normal" length of post-partum depression. They've put me on meds which are helping immensely but make me even more nauseous than usual. It is what it is. :)

Part of this is the stress over the impending induction which I find out when they are scheduling that today. Part of this is stress over everything that isn't done and isn't getting done. Yet another part of it is the "normal" Mommy-to-be-again stress. Only my very closest friends and parents know what I'm going through...and now you.

Thanks for listening to this sleep deprived outpouring so I can get some sleep.