Saturday, October 30, 2010

A Little (okay - not so little) Background

Allow me to explain, as briefly as possible, the road that has brought me here.

I was born to 2 Christians, 1 Catholic (my father) and 1 United Methodist (my mother). Their marriage was not blessed by the Catholic's choice who was non-practicing from well before the time they married up until my brother was getting ready to attend school over 15 years after I was born. They agreed that I would be brought up in my mother's faith in a church that was "dual denomination" - United Methodist and United Church of Christ.

I occasionally attended various churches other than my home church growing up. This included attending Mass with my grandmother and my father once he returned to the faith. I also attended my mother's parent's church while visiting them, another dual denomination - United Methodist and Baptist. Growing up as a musician I also attended MANY services of so many different faiths to mention them all would take an entire blog entry. I am, to say the very least, well versed in the worship practices of most major religions. It's something I feel is important and I hope to expose my son to the same cultural experiences as he grows up.

For the sake of record, I was confirmed in my mother's church. Prior to, during, and after that confirmation I was an active member of the choir which I continued participating in up until I got married.

My husband is a "cradle Catholic". Like my father he had "left" the faith long before I came along. I made the offer to convert at any time when we agreed to marry. That was 10 years ago.

It is now 2010 and I can honestly say since my confirmation I have grown mountains in my faith. I have an immense respect, as stated previously, for ALL faiths. For many, many reasons my faith over the years has become a very odd mixture of my upbringing, very conservative Christian views, and Paganism. Yup - Paganism.

I know - that one threw you for a loop...didn't it??? :) Here's why. Pagans revere nature. I have been told by many, many Pagans over the years that I "have a gift". I don't believe one should transfer to a religion based on a "knack for it" but I do agree that the general respect and reverence given by the "average" Christian towards what nature is capable of is outright sinful. Here is one of many examples on why this is added to my "list of beliefs". I'm a practicing herbalist. I pray over the herbals I make that they will heal. This would, for all intensive purposes, be a Pagan practice. I just choose to use God and Jesus rather than praying to a Pagan Goddess.

Christians call that heretical. I wonder if that pill you are popping in your mouth to solve whatever ails you was prayed over during it's preparation? Now what about the 4 more pills you have to take...each to counter the effects of the one before? Herbalism is good for the body. If John the Baptist could eat bugs, what on earth is wrong with me using a poultice of comfrey and aloe to heal a burn?

Moving on because I can rant about this all day.

A week ago, my husband and I had a very deep discussion. The bottom outcome was that he wished to return to the Catholic church and would like me to join him.

Last week was an immense journey of dealing with the inevitable results of that conversation. As a conservative Christian I believe I am bound to follow the wishes of my husband in terms of how we will worship the Lord in this home. As a "never before Catholic", this has been overwhelming to say the very least.

And here we sit. 1 week into the journey that is just beginning. Endless research, lots of conversations, wonderful friends that help, and God.

Somehow, HE has a plan in all I just have to figure out where I fit in! :)

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