Tonight was my beautiful son's Confirmation and First Communion.
I, being the Italian mother I am, was running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Pinning corsages and boutonnieres, running interference for missing children and/or their sponsors, helping with new seating arrangements created at the last minute...
It never ends.
So when I finally SAT in the pew next to my husband I had quite a shock. I knelt to pray and the prelude began. "Here I Am, Lord". One of my very favorite songs from the church I grew up in. The first piece of Christian music to move me to tears. It has always touched my heart so incredibly deeply.
I have said through this whole journey that if this is what the Lord wants for my family, He will make it abundantly clear.
Message Received. Roger.
So as the ceremony progresses and we all greatly enjoy the Bishop, his homily, and his wonderful demeanor with the kids I relax and laugh and enjoy my time immensely.
After I get back from communion, I'm kneeling and just not feeling like I should rise. The post-communion song began to play and I burst into tears.
While "Here I Am, Lord" was the song of my home original church that moved me, "As the Deer" was the song from my time in Germany that has moved me since. The calm, strong melody wafted over me as I sobbed while singing. Tears were pouring down my face while I knelt and just let myself feel it for the first time.
I was here.
I was where I belonged.
With my whole entire family.
And it felt amazing.